Monday 19 June 2017
The Gigantic Cream Egg
This weeks prompt was about a cream egg. Do you think my Story's good? I was trying to think carefully about using better words. Here is the picture of it.
The gigantic egg fell crash on the concrete. The tiny people ran as fast as they could to safety. The road workers got called and came immediately. The creamy filling was flooding out really fast! Cones started to come out of the big, black truck. Three of the red and white cones when around the big blob of creamy mixture. It started coming out faster and faster. They put a wall around it and connected it to 8 horse and the horses pulled the wall. The started to pull it away then… Suddenly the egg slid out of the wall.
4 comments:
To support my learning I ask you to comment as follows:
1. Something positive - something you like about what I have shared.
2. Thoughtful - A sentence to let us know you actually read/watched or listened to what I had to say
3. Something thoughtful - how have you connected with my learning? Give me some ideas for next time or ask me a question.
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I think you achieved your goal of using really interesting words today Danni! I like, 'the gigantic egg', 'immediately', 'creamy filling' and the 'big black truck'. Keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteMiss Blair :)
Hi Danielle, My name is Abby and I go to Yaldhurst Model School.
ReplyDeleteI like the words you chose and it's interesting. Next time you should type TO BE CONTINUED to make more interesting and then you make a part two.
Hello Abby
DeleteNext time I will try do to be continued. Thanks for saying it was interesting.
Room 4
Danni
Drummond primary school
Hi Danielle,My name is billie I go to yaldhurst model school i really like your story because it was exciting to read thanks Billie.
ReplyDelete