I am learning to create an image in my mind, with a noun ( frost) depicting the weather at this time of year in Southland.
I am then learning to write a description for this image, using strong, appropriate and effective verbs to activate the nouns and one or two similes.
My breath goes out of my mouth clearly like a dragon's breath.
Ball of sparkling white snow are falling covering my head in snow. Cold Camouflaged cats sneak slowly into the house thinking their not being watched. Hungry chickens looking for any kind of food. Little snowman growing to be big snowman overnight. Big blobs of snow are sliding off the roof of the chicken house. The house roof top is getting smothered with snow like mite on toast.
My breath goes out of my mouth clearly like a dragon's breath.
Hi Danielle
ReplyDeleteThis a nice descriptive piece of writing.
I love how you described your breath like a dragons breath, maybe next time you could try and use a variety of sentence lengths
From Charlotte, Oamaru Intermediate School
Hello Danielle,
ReplyDeletethis is a great piece of writing.
I think you need to work on is to try and use a variety of sentence lengths.
Regards
Naua Teu, Oamaru intermediate school.